


Nappies Needed Now

by cavgirl



Category: Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Episode Addition, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 08:37:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cavgirl/pseuds/cavgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clyde Langer, Nappy Collector Extraordinaire... The advent of baby Sky from Clyde's pov. This is not entirely faithful to the episode 'Sky' but it's only slightly off. Call it a reinterpretation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nappies Needed Now

_Rani’s face came closer and closer, her dark eyes intent on his, and Clyde prepared to meet her lips with his…_

 _…He was not prepared for her to open her mouth and start a wailing cacophony, one that was rather familiar._

 _Clyde frowned. Why was Rani pretending to be Mr Smith?_

 _Then she started to shake him, and he began to fight her off, wondering how on earth this promising encounter had turned into a nightmare…_

   ‘Clyde!’ someone shouted.

 

   ‘Gerroff me!’ he shouted back, still waving his arms frantically in self-defence.

 

   ‘CLYDE!’

 

   He opened one eye, and was confronted not with a shrieking Rani, but his mother’s face, amusement warring with concern and exasperation in her features.

 

   He blinked.

 

   ‘Shut this thing up,’ his mother ordered, shoving his flashing, blaring phone into his hand, and Clyde’s fogged mind started to clear. He’d decided the night before to record Mr Smith’s greeting fanfare for use as a ringtone, set it up, and promptly forgotten about it.

 

  He took the phone from his mum, unlocked it, and stared at the name blinking on the screen: SJS.

 

  He sat bolt upright so fast that his mother reared back, startled. ‘What is it?’

 

  Clyde paused, one hand on the duvet, thinking fast. His mother did not know about his saving-the-world job. He could hardly say ‘It’s a text from Sarah Jane and it’s only nine on a Saturday morning so it must be urgent’, could he?

 

  ‘It’s, uh, Luke,’ he temporised. ‘He’s worried about his mum. Something about her not answering the phone. You know how he is.’

 

  Carla’s face relaxed. ‘He’s a sweet boy,’ she observed. ‘He’s a good son to Sarah Jane. Most boys wouldn’t bother to check on their mums while they’re living it up at uni.’

 

  ‘Oi!’ Clyde protested half heartedly, his attention focused on the message he’d just opened.

 

  He frowned, and rubbed his eyes. He’d had some strange text messages from Sarah Jane Smith over the years, but this one took the biscuit – took several shops worth of biscuit tins, in fact.

 

 _Nappies needed now_ , the message said.

 

‘Sorry, Mum,’ he said as he closed his phone and grabbed his jeans, ‘really gotta rush,’ and with that, he pushed past his mother into the bathroom.

 

Washing that morning really was a cat’s-lick-and-a-promise. Less than twenty minutes after his rude awakening, he was out the door, jogging towards the Tesco Metro a couple of streets away.

 

Getting the nappies was mildly embarrassing. The little old ladies who did their shopping at ungodly hours of Saturday morning kept shooting him dirty looks as he browsed the nappy aisle (who knew there’d be so many different types?). Finally, he grabbed a couple of packets of Pampers, vaguely reassured by the fact that they resembled the kind used by his aunt for his baby cousin, and headed for the checkout, where he was treated to another glower by the middle-aged woman at the til.

 

 _You owe me, Sarah Jane_ , he thought as he poured a handful of coins onto the counter. ‘It’s not mine,’ he protested, when the woman sniffed and handed him his change. He returned her glower with interest, shoved his money in his pocket, and headed out the door, burdened by his nappies. He did pause to pull his hood up, though – wouldn’t do to be recognised by any of his mates; his street cred would never recover.

 

  It was a relief to turn into Bannerman Road. Nappies, it turned out, were awkward things to carry, and he’d dropped one or the other more than once as he attempted to get a grip on the clumsy things. It was an even greater relief to get safely into Sarah Jane’s front garden and out of direct sight of the Chandra house; Mr Chandra still treated him with a good deal of suspicion, and he’d never let Clyde anywhere near Rani again if he saw the nappies.

 

  The front door was open, and Clyde absently closed it behind him with a trainer-shod foot. There was no sign of Sarah Jane, and that confirmed the vague vibrations his Clydey-sense had been making ever since he received the message.

 

 _Whatever she wants the nappies for, it’s not gonna be anything as harmless as a_ human _baby_ , he thought grimly, shoving a nappy pack under each arm and pelting up the house and then the attic stairs with an ease born of long practice.

 

 _Not if she’s in the attic_ , he thought as he approached the attic door. _Maybe it’s a baby alien or something… or an old one that’s a bit incontinent… Eww, really didn’t need that thought, Clyde, my man…_

 

  He put his shoulder to the door, heaved, and practically fell into the attic. ‘Here’s your nappies, Sarah Jane,’ he announced. ‘Are you gonna tell me what you want them – ‘

 

  ‘ _Shhhh_ ,’ hissed Sarah Jane and Rani in tandem, twin glares shooting at him.

 

  ‘It _is_ a baby,’ Clyde said, rather more softly as he approached the women. ‘Just a baby.’ He dropped the nappies on the floor and came closer.

 

 The baby in Sarah Jane’s arms made several noises, and Sarah Jane and Rani tensed.

 

 ‘Don’t cry, please don’t cry,’ Sarah Jane was muttering under her breath as she jogged the baby up and down, looking thoroughly unnerved.

 

 ‘OK, what’m’I missing, here?’ Clyde demanded. ‘She’s a baby. They cry. That’s what babies do.’

 

 ‘ _This_ one blows out the electrics, _and_ Mr Smith,’ Sarah Jane told him tensely through her teeth, the fine line between her brows deepening when the baby’s soft noises became ominously unhappy. ‘It’s all right, baby, please don’t cry,’ she ended, sounding a touch desperate.

 

 Clyde studied her. ‘You’re holding the kid wrong,’ he said at last.

 

 Rani gave him one of her intense and threatening glares. ‘And what do you know about it?’

 

 He smirked. ‘I’ve been around my aunt’s kid a good deal. Baby’s more likely to bawl when he thinks he’s about to be dropped.’

 

 ‘I won’t drop it,’ Sarah Jane objected, insulted.

 

 ‘ _I_ know that, and _you_ know that, but Sparky here doesn’t,’ Clyde pointed out with an involuntary grin.

 

 Sarah Jane’s lips thinned. ‘ _Fine_ ,’ she huffed, dumping the baby in Clyde’s arms. ‘Since you’re the expert, you can deal with her.’

 

 ‘Wha - ?’ Clyde spluttered, contradicting his own advice by clutching the baby a shade too tightly and provoking a startled wail. All the lights flickered.

 

 ‘ _Now_ you see,’ Sarah Jane said with a touch of satisfaction.

 

Clyde plonked himself down on the beaten up red leather sofa and manoeuvred the baby so that she was facing him. ‘Listen up, Sparky,’ he began gravely, ‘there’s no need to do that, kid. Not cool. Really not cool. You’re safe, you hear?’

 

 ‘Sparky’ chewed one fist and stared at him, her dark eyes very wide.

‘Is that all she does?’ he asked, glancing up at Sarah Jane from the now quiet baby. ‘Blow out the lecky?’

 

Sarah Jane folded her arms. ‘That’s quite enough, thank you,’ she retorted. ‘There’s a lot of sensitive equipment up here, you know.’ She watched them, and then said: ‘We’ll have to find out who she is and where she came from.’

 

‘Sparky’ cooed.

 

‘You’re a good little girl for Uncle Clyde, aren’t you?’ Clyde muttered, provoking a snicker from Rani and a half-smile from Sarah Jane. ‘Shame you can’t tell us where you sprung from – or can she?’ he asked suddenly, glancing up again. ‘Can’t Mr Smith translate Baby?’

 

Sarah Jane looked as if she was trying not to laugh. ‘Mr Smith won’t have anything to do with her, I’m afraid. When I asked him to scan her, she blew out several of his circuits. He wasn’t impressed.’

 

‘Whoops,’ Clyde said. ‘Naughty Sparky.’ He bounced the baby up and down on his knee, and was rewarded with a gurgle that was so like that of a human baby that his tone turned doubtful. ‘Are you sure she’s alien?’

 

‘Do _you_ know of any other babies who can wipe out an entire street’s power?’ Rani asked sweetly, forestalling any response from the older woman.

 

Clyde’s eyes widened. ‘O-kaay. That’s, uh, cool. So it wasn’t just a couple of bulbs on the blink and Mr Smith chucking a hissy fit.’

 

‘If only,’ Sarah Jane sighed, sitting down next to him, while Rani perched on the arm of the settee at Clyde’s other side.

 

‘You’re really good with her, Clyde,’ Rani observed, favouring him with a smile.

 

Clyde felt a tide of heat rise up, past his collar. At least it wouldn’t show on his dark skin. ‘Yeah, well. L’il cousin and all.’

 

Sarah Jane patted him on the shoulder before levering herself to her feet. ‘It’s just as well. She can’t go in the car – I doubt we’d get out of the driveway, and she can’t be left alone. You stay here with her while Rani and I go and investigate.’

 

‘Aw, Sarah _Jane_!’ Clyde protested, his face falling.

 

‘Oh, _Clyde_ ,’ she returned mockingly before sobering. ‘I really do need you to do this. I don’t know where the baby has come from, but I find it hard to believe that there’s no-one out there looking for her. Not just because she’s a baby, and must belong to someone, but her abilities are rather special… alien or not. It might not be safe for – for whoever she is. I refuse to believe her name is ‘Sparky’, Clyde Langer!’

 

He grinned and shrugged. ‘It fits.’

 

Sarah Jane rolled her eyes and grabbed her mac, flipping her hair over its collar as she slipped into it. ‘If she stays here we’ll have to think of something else.’

 

Rani’s eyes widened as she pulled on her own coat. ‘D’you mean you’ll keep her?’

 

‘I might have to,’ Sarah Jane said, seeming none too pleased. ‘I can hardly hand over an alien child with super powers to social services, can I?’ She looked from Rani to Clyde. ‘I’ll be relying on the two of you to help with her, you know. I’m too old to manage alone with a baby.’

 

‘You managed with Luke,’ Clyde pointed out, interrupting the series of bubbles he was blowing at the little girl.

 

‘Luke was a teenager,’ Sarah Jane retorted, grabbing her glasses. ‘Now where are my keys -?’

 

‘Didn’t you leave them in the hall?’ Rani reminded her.

 

‘See? Thanks, Rani. Come on, let’s see what we can discover. See you later, Clyde!’

 

And with that, the two women were gone, leaving Clyde Langer quite literally holding the baby.

 

-END. 


End file.
